A few months ago, I sent out a message to my social media followers that I wanted to start a new project called "Fan Songs." I asked for folks to submit a person or event in their lives to dedicate a song to, and I will write a song for them. I have some WONDERFUL submissions that I'm working on, and I'm so excited to release the first one!
Meet Leah and Baby Dani.
Here is an excerpt of her email to me:
“Hey, Jessie!
So, you asked about fan songs and I would absolutely LOVE a song I knew was written for my little girl. I have 3 children on this earth, a boy and 2 girls. And I have another daughter who is with our maker. When I was 5 months pregnant and my husband had been gone for months (military training) I found out that my baby was a girl..and that she had an abnormal heart. (The easy explanation and sweet way we explain it to our living children is that her heart was too big.)
I was told chances were slim of her surviving long after being born...if at all.
She didn’t survive. At all. Her body was born after her spirit had already departed from it...back to the Lord who had blessed me with her in the first place. My husband had come home the day before she died, but never got to feel her kick.
We buried our daughter, our little girl, our Dani Monique 3 days later. ”
Leah and I corresponded more, and my heart swelled 10 sizes at least. It has been a true gift to spend time dedicated to Dani and her faithful family. I am amazed at the strength Leah and her family have, and the love they carry with them for Dani.
Here is a picture of her husband, Spencer, and her son, SJ, during the funeral, carrying Dani's tiny casket.
And here is Leah, Spencer, and sweet little Dani.
Leah describes the next picture,
“[This one is] right as we were moving to Belgium. It started snowing & I couldn’t bring myself to leave her grave.”
Oh, what an honor to write a song for Dani. Thank you, Leah and family, for allowing me the privilege to write this song. Look for the butterfly metaphor, as butterflies have a special meaning with Dani and the family.
Waiting For Someday
it’s not a day of the week
but i know it’s coming
it’s a slow crawl
but still time’s running
i’m so full of color
yet so full of nothing
I’m just waiting, waiting for someday
i’m holding on to you
can you feel me?
on the other side of this space between?
you’re as alive in me as you could ever be
i’m just waiting waiting for someday
Baby my baby
why were you taken from me?
now i can’t breathe
baby, sweet baby
i need some clarity
i wish you were here with me
i found a butterfly on your headstone
it was as free and kind as your gentle soul
just like my baby, he floated away
i’m just waiting waiting for someday