I heart YouTube Yoga

Oh, exercise. A necessary evil and a beautiful experience, wrapped up in an awkward bow. As a broke musician, I have to get a bit creative in the world of exercising. Due to the fact that I don't want to pay $50 a month for a gym membership, I have become quite the YouTube workout aficionado. My favorite thing to do right now is yoga.  Here are some of my favorite yoga vids on YouTube that'll make you sweat your tail off. 

(And just for reference, I'm at an intermediate level. Not a beginner, but I'm certainly not advanced. I can't do the majority of the arm balances and acrobatic stuff, so when the video asks me to do those, I try it for a minute, and then I just hop around 'til the next pose. :) )

Hope this will help you save money, too!

I'm The Crazy Grandma Lady

So I'm really social. And by social, I mean I run errands on Friday nights because I run into the least amount of people that way. This past Friday, I went to Bed Bath and Beyond to get a present for a friend. It was really fun. I had a gift card. I got some makeup.

Yes, there is a point to this.

When I was in high school, all the cool kids would hang out in the parking lot of the local Kroger (or "Krogers," as many Southerners would say). I was never invited to hang out there. I've decided it's because I was so beautiful that no one wanted me around to take their boyfriends. (Let's just ignore the fact that I had a unibrow....)

Well, in fancy-pants Franklin, Tennessee, it is apparently no different. At exactly 9pm, I walk out to my car from the store and was greeted by THIS.

Ok, so the picture doesn't do it much justice, but it shows a glimmer into the amount of lil' whippersnappers that were surrounding my car.

If I were to guess, I'd say around 10 million high schoolers were there.

OKAY, I'm exaggerating. More like 200. But seriously. 200 teenagers is approximately 199 too many teenagers.

They were EVERYWHERE. And they were doing lots of things that The United States and Tennessee laws have deemed slightly illegal in nature, like drinking and smoking and... cuddling.

Then all of a sudden, I turned into Crazy Grandma. I picked up my proverbial walking stick and started yelling.

"Where are you parents?! When I was your age, blah blah blah... YOUNG LADY, YOUR SKIRT IS TOO SHORT!"

Gosh, I am so old.

Jessie's Book Review for N00bs

I just finished a book called “Lone Wolf,” by Jodi Picoult.

I skimmed the back and concluded that this book was about a lonely man.

Aww! That sounds sweet, doesn't it?

"To evict a wolf from a pack, you use natural suppression and intimidation...."

Hey! That's not about a little ol' lonely man.

"At first I didn't know if the young female wolf was testing me.... So I lifted the deer leg to my mouth and started to eat. How did the raw meat taste? Like the finest filet."

Aw, MAN.

How was I supposed to know that “Lone Wolf” would be about WOLVES? *hand hitting forehead*

While I appreciate wolves as much as the next guy, it was like thinking you have a Coke and taking a swig of sweet tea.

So, if you’re interested in getting this book, BE FOREWARNED...

“Lone Wolf” is about WOLVES. I know it’s a stretch, but really, it is.

Sweet Fantasy, Baby

I have a place in my little brain that is just for me. It's filled with so much ridiculousness happiness.

At night, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and dream...

I dream that I'm off in Europe somewhere, it's cold and cloudy, and I'm wearing an extra large matching sweat suit cashmere loungewear, sipping Earl Grey tea next to a fire, cuddling up next to the love of my life, as he whispers this into my ear...

Bliss.

Then I make my way to the workout room, where my personal trainer leads me in a rigorous yoga practice, and I remain beautiful and desirable at all times. And it's not hard at all!

I proceed to the master suite where I read an educational, slightly pretentious novel atop my Tempur-Pedic-Cloud-Supreme-Gold-Woven- Diamond-Dusted mattress, whilst high-fiving a million angels.

Winning.

                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then, with the cursed sun ball of morning, I wake up. And reality sets in.

I start the day with a bowl of pure energy. Off-brand Frosted Mini-Wheats...

Then I feed the @$%#@ cat...

I write a really bad song...

[youtube=http://youtu.be/XNXIZuIBJKs]

Butt-kiss all the music venues I can possibly find...

Try and come up with my own Zumba moves at the apartment for my cheaper-than-a-gym workout...

[youtube=http://youtu.be/yJ_AU6tYYbg]

Babysit some kids...

And end the day with writing an epic blog post that is sure to inspire millions, if not billions of people.

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night folks, try the veal.

Holimusidays!

I hope your holidays were glaaahrious. I hope you were able to rest and laugh and get lots of hugs. I had the privilege of playing for a good many Christmas parties this year. And then I spent actual Christmas with my in-laws at a lake. It was fun. I ate some turkey. I slept a lot. I even read a book. I forgot to take pictures. Got some pretty sweet gifts. Yep. That's about it.

Wow, this blog post is really starting with a bang....

Well anyways, right after Christmas, my husband and I took a trip to Ft. Walton Beach, FL to get away and write some songs, thanks to my aunt and uncle's gorgeous beachside condo. Good lord, it was heaven.

I really wanted to post pictures of the inside of the condo, but every picture I took looked like our suitcase exploded on it.

Aw, heck. We're all friends here.

Woowee! What a treat we didn't deserve in a million years. And we wrote new songs that you can hear at my shows!

So we drove back from Florida on New Years' Eve, just in time to hang out with these n00bs:

We hung out, ate soup, drank some sherry (and by sherry, I mean I tried the sherry and then proceeded to cut it with a large amount of Mountain Dew), and then drove to downtown Nashville to "watch the music note drop."

In the freezing rain.

And the chick on the left in the last picture wore her pajamas.

I love my friends.

So anyways, we stuffed ourselves onto Broadway like sardines, running into each others' umbrellas, and feeling the water seep through our clothes. This picture really sums it up nicely.

I kid, I kid. Well, not about the rain part. I kid about the insinuation that it wasn't fun - okay, so it wasn't the BEST time I've ever had, but if it wasn't for good company, I believe I would've been the cranky so-this-is-what-it-feels-like-to-live-in-an-ice-cube lady. Instead, I was the joyful mute, glaring at the intoxicated many who ran into me with my laser beam eyes. Wow, Jessie, you're lame.  But I digress... how cute are my little friends?!

Yay, adventures. :)

My Other Job

Along with making the minuscule big bucks being a music artist, I also teach voice and piano lessons to some pretty cool folks. ...And the occasional demon zombie child... But mainly cool people. I absolutely adore teaching. I especially love teaching voice. I get very "into" it and sometimes quite emotional. I'll give cheesy thrilling motivational speeches and make my students do vocal exercises they wouldn't want anyone in the world to hear them sing. And, hey Jack (Si from Duck Dynasty reference, anyone??), it works. And it's fun to watch them squirm wwoohahaha.

The other day, I had a few lessons, and I had to grab a couple of new piano books for one of my students. I walked into Shuff's Music in Franklin, TN, my most favorite music store. Get in, get out. That's what she said. That was the plan.

But, nope. That wasn't going to happen. Why? Glad you asked. I'll tell you.

I walked back to the music book room, a very echoey, wood-floor room, and there was a lone high school kid trying out a trumpet for what sounded like the first time. "Awww," I thought at first. "That's so sweet."

My "awww"s turned to "WTF" after about 10 minutes, when he continued to toot that thing loudly and obnoxiously, as well as stand in the very spot from which I needed to grab my music. I wasn't quite sure what to do. So, I did what anyone would do. I pulled out my video camera so y'all could get you a piece of this action.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBJJKkgU9Ng&feature=youtu.be]

I finally quit being nice and nudged my way to my books.

As I was leaving, a store clerk came by to check on the trumpeteer (kinda like a rocketeer, but way, way lamer). He proceeded to ask if he could try out a saxophone. "I've never played one before, but I wanna try it," he said.

I ran out as fast as I could. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I get to my lesson. And my sweet and gorgeous student Lucy greets me at the door with Setzer, the coolest cat in the history of cats.

Did I mention that her dad is THE Pedal Doctor? He's a guitar gear genius, and pedal-maker to the stars! And the lead guitar player in my band. :) But I digress...

So take note of little Lucy's fingers in this picture...

Now take a look at 'em...

This little smarty figured out that if she could just memorize WHERE to put her hands on the piano, and write all the note names on her fingers, then the piano was much easier to play. I can't say I haven't thought this very same thing.

And did I name-drop mention that BONO has played the piano I teach Lucy on? Yeah. STUPID!! (That means cool in this instance, Mom.)

I think my favorite part about teaching music, though, is just being around kids. I love their smiles and their enthusiasm and their - who am I kidding - I love their COMPLIMENTS! Ever feeling down about yourself? Go find yourself a kid. Don't kidnap the thing or anything, but just go find one and talk to 'em. They think grown ups are super stars! But be sure to stick around the 5-9 age group. By 11 or so, they pretty much hate your guts.

My last student was a sweet, sweet girl whom I had just met. She was a bit shy at first, but by the end, she was squealing and laughing and drawing pictures of she and I frolicking in flower fields.

I think it's safe to say that I am full of it the child whisperer.

I feel quite lucky.

Wardrobe Dysfunction

I looove clothes. And my mom thinks I'm super fashionable. I'm really good at finding the most cutting-edge clothes at Sears. I value buttons and pockets and hemlines and stuff. I'm also fantastic at styling my husband, if I do say so myself. I decided to take a camera on my last shopping trip so I can teach my plethora of readers how to shop like a professional.

I started my day purchasing these well-tailored jeans. The extra length at the bottom really makes me look taller, don't you think?

Then I saw an ad for the movie, "The Hunger Games," and got inspired.

Effie Trinket is my fashion hero.

Then, I heard The Rolling Stones over the loudspeaker and grabbed me this hot little number.

My advice to you: when finding the perfect fringe skirt, look for the tightest one - it'll give so much dimension to your look. This one cuts the circulation off of my stomach - a must-have!

Then, it was my hubby's turn. With Bradley, I really focused on his face and framing it with things that show off his spectacular bone structure.

I added chain mail to complete this ultra-sexy look.

Then, I wanted something vintage and regal, something that would make a statement onstage.

Sexy.

I completed his look with a full, vintage-inspired outfit handcrafted by the designers at "Colonial-Or-Bust-Dot-Com."

I can't wait for you to come to my next show, so I can dazzle you with my wardrobe. That's what makes the music sound good, you know - the clothes.

At least that's what Lady Gaga told me.