Wardrobe Dysfunction

I looove clothes. And my mom thinks I'm super fashionable. I'm really good at finding the most cutting-edge clothes at Sears. I value buttons and pockets and hemlines and stuff. I'm also fantastic at styling my husband, if I do say so myself. I decided to take a camera on my last shopping trip so I can teach my plethora of readers how to shop like a professional.

I started my day purchasing these well-tailored jeans. The extra length at the bottom really makes me look taller, don't you think?

Then I saw an ad for the movie, "The Hunger Games," and got inspired.

Effie Trinket is my fashion hero.

Then, I heard The Rolling Stones over the loudspeaker and grabbed me this hot little number.

My advice to you: when finding the perfect fringe skirt, look for the tightest one - it'll give so much dimension to your look. This one cuts the circulation off of my stomach - a must-have!

Then, it was my hubby's turn. With Bradley, I really focused on his face and framing it with things that show off his spectacular bone structure.

I added chain mail to complete this ultra-sexy look.

Then, I wanted something vintage and regal, something that would make a statement onstage.

Sexy.

I completed his look with a full, vintage-inspired outfit handcrafted by the designers at "Colonial-Or-Bust-Dot-Com."

I can't wait for you to come to my next show, so I can dazzle you with my wardrobe. That's what makes the music sound good, you know - the clothes.

At least that's what Lady Gaga told me.

Teaching That Guy A Lesson

I did something awful today. I have certainly never done this before. And I don't regret it for a second. I like to stay out of drama. I like being an "upstanding citizen" (at least in public, ha). I am quite a people-pleaser at heart. But today, that all went out the window with one single, disgusting comment.

While walking into Macy's today, a trio of sorely misguided thugs walked past me in the parking lot. One of the fools pipes up and says, "heeey babyyy, you got a nice body."

Strike 1.

I started walking faster and pretending like I didn't hear him. Then, he says something so vile, so disgusting, so disrespectful, I refuse to say or type what it was. Right there in front of a crowd of people.

Strike 2 and 3. And 4 and 5 and 6 and infinity.

My blood was boiling. I began walking towards him. "HEY!" I yelled. Then I flipped him off, called him an a-hole and ran inside.

hehe. I'm so proud of myself.