Irreverent Funnies

Here are some more funnies from my Pinterest page I thought you might enjoy! :D

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: 9gag.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: allofmywords.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: imgur.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: tickld.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: failblog.files.wordpress.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: artnet.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: 9gag.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

...I shall leave you with this little bit of irreverence. Jesus would SO laugh at this. ;)

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Pinterest Funnies

Here are some things I've found on Pinterest (and beyond) that made me laugh. Hope these make you happy! :) You should come join me over there, it's fun! And if nothing else, you can go look at what I've pinned here!

Source: fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: static.someecards.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: littlewhitelion.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: imgfave.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: youtube.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Source: themetapicture.com via Jessie on Pinterest

Sweet Fantasy, Baby

I have a place in my little brain that is just for me. It's filled with so much ridiculousness happiness.

At night, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and dream...

I dream that I'm off in Europe somewhere, it's cold and cloudy, and I'm wearing an extra large matching sweat suit cashmere loungewear, sipping Earl Grey tea next to a fire, cuddling up next to the love of my life, as he whispers this into my ear...

Bliss.

Then I make my way to the workout room, where my personal trainer leads me in a rigorous yoga practice, and I remain beautiful and desirable at all times. And it's not hard at all!

I proceed to the master suite where I read an educational, slightly pretentious novel atop my Tempur-Pedic-Cloud-Supreme-Gold-Woven- Diamond-Dusted mattress, whilst high-fiving a million angels.

Winning.

                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then, with the cursed sun ball of morning, I wake up. And reality sets in.

I start the day with a bowl of pure energy. Off-brand Frosted Mini-Wheats...

Then I feed the @$%#@ cat...

I write a really bad song...

[youtube=http://youtu.be/XNXIZuIBJKs]

Butt-kiss all the music venues I can possibly find...

Try and come up with my own Zumba moves at the apartment for my cheaper-than-a-gym workout...

[youtube=http://youtu.be/yJ_AU6tYYbg]

Babysit some kids...

And end the day with writing an epic blog post that is sure to inspire millions, if not billions of people.

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night folks, try the veal.

Wardrobe Dysfunction

I looove clothes. And my mom thinks I'm super fashionable. I'm really good at finding the most cutting-edge clothes at Sears. I value buttons and pockets and hemlines and stuff. I'm also fantastic at styling my husband, if I do say so myself. I decided to take a camera on my last shopping trip so I can teach my plethora of readers how to shop like a professional.

I started my day purchasing these well-tailored jeans. The extra length at the bottom really makes me look taller, don't you think?

Then I saw an ad for the movie, "The Hunger Games," and got inspired.

Effie Trinket is my fashion hero.

Then, I heard The Rolling Stones over the loudspeaker and grabbed me this hot little number.

My advice to you: when finding the perfect fringe skirt, look for the tightest one - it'll give so much dimension to your look. This one cuts the circulation off of my stomach - a must-have!

Then, it was my hubby's turn. With Bradley, I really focused on his face and framing it with things that show off his spectacular bone structure.

I added chain mail to complete this ultra-sexy look.

Then, I wanted something vintage and regal, something that would make a statement onstage.

Sexy.

I completed his look with a full, vintage-inspired outfit handcrafted by the designers at "Colonial-Or-Bust-Dot-Com."

I can't wait for you to come to my next show, so I can dazzle you with my wardrobe. That's what makes the music sound good, you know - the clothes.

At least that's what Lady Gaga told me.

Oh But For A Chance...

...to be on THE AMAZING RACE, that is! My sister and I have sent in an audition video to be on The Amazing Race. To say we love this show would be an understatement!

Dear Lord, please let us be on this show. Amen.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/EIY7QlwpG_k]

Bananas!

I love bananas. And I love singing. So when I found a banana (and an orange and a pear) fruit shaker at a demo session I sang for the other day, I was in weird/silly heaven.

I must incorporate these into my daily life.

Why did the banana have to go to the doctor? Because he wasn't PEELING very well!

Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date!

Okay... I'm done, I swear...